Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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