Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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