Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
