Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
