That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
