so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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