Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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