it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
