You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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