She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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