Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
