You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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