I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
this hospital has no fireball
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
