You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
love makes seman taste better
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
