i'm signing you up for texting rehab
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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