I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
