you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
