I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
false alarm. still invincible.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't deserve a penis
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
