I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
