What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
