mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
