I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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