id be glad to
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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