real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
