Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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