This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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