someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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