Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you traded sex for a burrito?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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