I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
