My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
you never un-have a 4some
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize