so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm always down for nudity.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
