"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
