never play flip cup with pint glasses
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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