butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
