Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
