I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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