Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
