I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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