Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
