is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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