I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
