she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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