My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
