he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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