You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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