i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
