I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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