UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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