She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He has the fingertips of a God
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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