I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
