Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
