I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
