I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
