3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
