These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize