He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
