now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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