It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
