saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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