We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
