Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
