Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
