let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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