I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
