I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
