we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
