is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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