Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
