At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
