Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
