I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
