Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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