Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize