I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
