Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Randomize
