What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
