My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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