atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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