i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
