I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Two words: nipple clamps
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