I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
