I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
