he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
