Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Life is so much better after having sex.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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