she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We left the knife in your bed.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
