physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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